>Well, many changes have been made to the novel. The main character isn’t Shadowhawk, anymore. I’ve renamed her Nightblade. Still hokey, but at least it’s not associated with a gay comic book character!
I’m up to chapter 6 in the red pen revisions, and chapter 4 in the actual rewriting. It’s still not where I’d like it to be, but it’s improving. The main problem I’m having is I can’t get away from “and”. In my effort to keep my narrative flowing (no staccato stops with too-short stops) my sentences have taken on a cumbersome rhythm with too many ands. Usually, the sentence is structured something like this:
“The character did this, and then turned around to to that.”
It’s not feeling natural, but I can’t quite figure out an alternative.
Hmm. Methinks I might post an excerpt to Forward Motion for some good, heavy critique.